Last night’s 42nd annual CMA Awards show was both a hit and a miss in my book. Artists like Sugarland and Carrie Underwood demonstrated that they are not only hits on the radio, but hitsduring a live performance as well. Meanwhile, top-grossing artists like Taylor Swift and Jason Aldean show that sometimes all you need is a pretty face and a great marketing machine to back it. Many people are up in arms over the way that the night played out, and what it means for the current state of Nashville and the future of country music.

My favorite country music news source, The 9513, cites

“Country Music’s Biggest Night Wasn’t Country… if you are reading this website now, on the morning after, not because you’re looking for pictures of Kellie Pickler’s boobs but because you love country music, or because you like country music, or even because you have just a passing interest in one of the few contemporary art forms that can be said to be truly and uniquely American, you should feel both insulted and outraged by what you witnessed last night.”

DH Country Music site administrator and Earps guitarist Ump had this to say:

Join the conversation and tell us what YOU thought of last night’s 2008 CMA’s in our country music forum!

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“Two Dallas police officers are on administrative leave after allegedly holding Steve Holy and a friend at gunpoint at the singer’s home in Dallas during the early hours of Dec. 27. The Dallas County district attorney’s office is investigating to determine whether aggravated assault charges should be filed against officers Randy Anderson, 25, and Paul Loughridge, 48. Holy said he and a friend were at a bar on Greenville Avenue when he began talking to an off-duty police officer he was acquainted with who introduced him to Anderson and Loughridge, who were also off duty at the time. After the bars closed, the five returned to Holy’s house to play foosball. When the officer Holy knew left the house, Anderson and Loughridge began questioning whether he was a country singer and became belligerent even after he showed them a CD cover. At one point, the two men allegedly held a gun to the back of Holy’s head while he was face down on the kitchen floor. They eventually allowed Holy to go upstairs to get his identification, and he told his wife to call 911.”

I can hear the radio parody now… “I got a brand new guardsman… I had him trained just to defend… ”

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1. Let’s start by professin’ our love for animals and sing about our pups. The Pirates of the Mississippi crooned on about feedin’ their boy Jake if they died, while Blake Shelton tricked an old red bloodhound to get addicted to the dirty in order to get em outta jail.
2. Where would a country star be without their guitar? Ol’ Bocephus was definitely a guitar man, and now the kids are doin’ it to… Miranda Lambert sings about her new strings on her first album, Kerosene.
3. Ah… but the love of a good woman.. Why Alan Jackson goes on and on about a woman’s love, while Brad Paisley tells us “she’s everything”.
4. And then, for every woman in love, there’s got to be a woman scorned! Dwight’s got himself an intentional heartache, and who can forget the Dixie Chick’s revenge on Earl?
5. Now to get yourself away from that feminine rage, you’ve got to have yourself a good truck. In Hillbilly Deluxe, Brooks and Dunn go on about their pickup truck, and there’s somethin women like about a pickup man according to Joe Diffie
6. In times of panic (like when runnin away from said scorned female) it’s a good time to go back to your roots… the place you once called home. Rodney Atkins brags “these are my people”and Bucky Covington reminisces about a different world.
7. Eventually you remember why you left in the first place and start dreamin of leavin that place for bigger and better things. The rise to stardom comes complete with a soundtrack. The Wreckers take pride in being one more girl on the stage (even though I counted two) and Toby Kieth’s got a whole album now of turnin into white trash with money.
8. And speakin of white trash… how about that dirty girl, Terri Clark? Or our favorite redneck woman, Gretchen Wilson? Gotta love it when you’re proud of who ya are!
9. After a long hard day’s work, everyone deserves a little party with their friends. Rascall Flatts kicks back with me and my gang, while Sugarland’s down in mississippi and up to no good.
10. And I’ll leave this one up to you… the fans… what country song stereotype do you think needs to be listed?

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